What if nothing is missing?

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It is my view that coaching starts with good questions, and my approach to coaching challenges the obsession with self-improvement by asking the question, what if nothing is missing? What if you are completely fine as you are? What change does this make for how you view yourself? What does it inspire you to do now? 

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Of course, this doesn't mean that we don't need to improve skills in a particular domain where expertise is required, but it lays a foundation for this skill building that is founded on self-compassion and self-worth, not self-deficiency. 

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The hamster wheel of self-improvement

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We live in a world that currently worships and demands self-improvement. Self-improvement can be one way of developing skills and self-esteem, however it can also reinforce a sense of self-deficiency and the niggling question that something, despite all our efforts, is missing. 

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Self-unfoldment not self-improvement

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My coaching practice sits within the paradigm of self-unfoldment, not self-improvement.

My approach to the coaching relationship is to develop an attunement with you the client, with this relationship serving as a model for the you to develop your own non-judgmental attunement to your thoughts, feelings, perceptions and emotions.

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Mindfulness-for-two

I call this a 'mindfulness-for-two' and it is this practice of mindful awareness that enables an attunement to the subtly shifting tides of our intellectual, emotional, somatic and spiritual experience.

It has been my personal and professional experience that by slowing down and stepping back, we can begin to notice and then unravel the mental habits that lead to self-sabotage and feelings of 'stuck-ness'.

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Self-sabotage and 'stuckness'

This self-sabotage or 'stuckness' may have arisen from anywhere and could even be the result of well meaning intentions and aspirations.

Perhaps a self-improvement strategy hasn't worked out, or a longed-for career transition has led to an unexpected loss of identity, or there is a pervading sense of dissatisfaction despite being successful.

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Rather than trying to force change based on some passing idea of what we think we should be, my developmental approach to coaching works with clients to establish a deeper understanding of the beliefs, principles and values that are relevant to who they are, unfolding change from this new understanding.

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Want to know more?

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If you are interested in understanding how I work in more detail, this article offers a detailed exposition of my view of change and the philosophy and method that underpins my approach.

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Alternatively you can book in a 15 minute call to discuss whether this type of coaching will be beneficial for you.

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